Abbreviated Bathroom Etiquette

Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals.

Exceptions-

  • Law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.
  • If all urinals are taken, one may wait, but must provide plenty of room between themselves and urinal users, and wait until the current urinal user has turned away and zipped up before approaching urinal.

Terms & Conditions-

  • Sitting down to pee is forbidden and will result in loss of “man” status.

17 comments so far

  1. Jason on

    Is it not also acceptable to use a toilet in substitution for wating, as long as you avoid urinating directly into the deep part of the water so that you do not call attention to the fact that you are using a toilet?

  2. James on

    It is completely fine to use the toilet. Provided that you do not sit down to pee. All men know that when you gotta go, you gotta go…
    Man Law.

  3. tim on

    if you are too drunk to aim it is ok to sit to save on cleaning up the bathroom the day after a party.

  4. Max on

    Even in that case it is encouraged that you at least attempt a standing position and then sit if it becomes apparent that standing is hopeless.

  5. Ben on

    It is not acceptable to sit down even if you are drunk, a Real man wouldn’t clean it up anyway.

  6. Tim on

    Also, if the need becomes apparent, no man should use a toilet seat that is still warm from another man. No man has the right to bask in another man’s warmness.

  7. Steve on

    There should also be no talking while a man is peeing, regardless if hands are on the junk or not.

  8. Matt on

    talking in the bathroom is only allowed if the conversation started before entering and ends after leaving

  9. Anonymous on

    This law is hereby repealed. Men may urinate in any urinals with no restrictions.

  10. Devin Murray on

    No man Shall sit down to pee unless they were pooping first.

  11. Rob on

    Sitting to pee is only allowed in one’s own residence when too drunk to stand during a party. Other wise it’s someone else’s mess.

    Talking in the restroom is only allowed on two occasions:

    The conversation started before entering. The conversation should cease when the subject is changed or thought is complete. It may resume when the restroom is vacated.

    The conversation starter is over 55 years old and addresses you directly. There are only two responses to these conversations “yes” or “no.” Do not allow the conversation to go further until restroom business is complete.

  12. EJ on

    And if all the urinals are taken and you have to stand next to someone,….PLEASE don’t moan.

  13. Munsterrr on

    This law is broken so much where I work. There is clearly room but they still come stand right next to you. And of course im paranoid so i think they are looking at me.

    which brings me to the addition. When pissing in the urinal, it is not already to look anywhere but up or down. There should be no eye “straying” to the left or right.

  14. JFOX on

    this goes without saying but a man should never follow another man into the restroom (it does not bold well for ones heterosexuality)

  15. Alex on

    Sit when you shit and no other time if I can pee standing up before pasing out from alcohol poisning then neone can

  16. Urinal Usage | Man Law Guide on

    [...] [via Abbreviated Bathroom Etiquette « The Complete Guide to Man Law] [...]

  17. Sturm on

    Is this law still void if the dividers only stick out 5 or 6 inches from the wall?


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